


we were lovers in a past life (i can see it in your green eyes)

by lexa_lives_in_us



Series: remember remember all we fight for [3]
Category: Fear the Walking Dead (TV), The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alicia is still lexa, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Clexa, F/F, Femslash, Soulmates, but the brat version, elyza lex is basically me, lexark, oh well, other character from the 1oo kinda mentioned, the more i write of her the more i realize it, these two are so in love, this fic was supposed to be only one chapter, which is very bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 17:54:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6530089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexa_lives_in_us/pseuds/lexa_lives_in_us
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You have no idea how hard it had been without you. After you died…” Elyza murmured.<br/>Her fingers squeezed Alicia’s hand before letting it go. They started trailing all the way up her arm, over her bicep, and then her chest. She pressed her palm over Alicia’s heart as she released a shaken sigh.<br/>“Everything lost meaning. It took me years before I could wake up without nightmares. I never forgot how you tasted, how you smelled, and it just… It drove me crazy.”<br/>Alicia didn’t answer.<br/>Alicia knew.</p>
<p>or the one where Clarke falls in love with Alicia and Lexa falls in love with Elyza because...yes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	we were lovers in a past life (i can see it in your green eyes)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to the adorable adventurousfeather (etherealpumpkin on tumblr) who kindly read and corrected this shot. If you haven't already, go check out her danyverse.  
> Again, English is not my first language so please be patient with me if you spot some mistake.

_“I’m sorry.” Elyza repeated. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”_

 

Alicia shushed her pressing her lips on Elyza’s, over and over again.

The girls cried, clutching to each other’s jackets like they were trying to melt their souls into one.

~~They’ve done this before~~

~~Every time~~

~~Every past life~~

And when the tears eventually dried out, their fingers moved and shed the clothes away from their bodies.

Their lips met and sealed a promise of another fight, one that they would face together, like the last one.

~~like the next one~~

Words became unnecessary as their kisses multiplied, their lips marked their skin over old and invisible scars

~~and Alicia chuckled at Elyza’s nipple piercing~~

~~and Elyza lingered for a long moment with her lips on the brunette’s stomach~~

 and they weren’t in another apocalypse anymore.

It was simply them, two girls too in love to let go of each other.

Two souls too in love and too stubborn to let fate win.

 

 

“Where have you been?”

Elyza flew open as she looked down to meet Alicia’s. She thought she was asleep.

The brunette’s fingers slid over Elyza’s belly button in a lazy motion before grabbing the blanket they had used to cover themselves and dragging it over their bodies.

She straightened up and held her head over her palm so that she could stare at Elyza.

Their feet met under the blanket.

The blonde snuggled closer to her.

“Emotionally?” Elyza murmured. “With you.”

Alicia closed her eyes for a moment, overwhelmed by the intensity and the truth of those words.

She heard Elyza swallow and she reopened her eyes.

“I’m sorry it took me so long.” Elyza repeated in a whisper. “I didn’t know… I couldn’t remember… If I had known…”

“Don’t.”

Elyza froze.

“I lived a life without you, waiting for you, _remembering_ … not knowing where you were, until I realized that you must have been still alive in our previous world.”

Alicia’s eyes were so green and so sad and so desperate and so young

~~and yet so _ancient_ and tired~~

that Elyza felt exactly the same feeling that she had felt the moment she had set eyes on Lexa for the first time.

“Don’t you even _dare_ to say that you would have come sooner.” Alicia’s voice was lower than a whisper, but Elyza could feel the pain in every single letter.

“Don’t you dare, because I knew you were alive and that is what had kept _me_ alive all that time.”

She nodded, slowly.

“I’m sorry.”

Alicia’s free hand scanned the blanket in search of Elyza’s and when she found it she held it tightly.

The girl sighed.

“It’s okay. Tell me what happened, Clarke.”

 And Elyza did.

 

“We won, Lexa.” She whispered. “I made sure our people were safe. They still are, wherever they are. The Coalition held. Skaikru and Grounders have been living in peace for years now.”

Alicia’s eyes shimmered in the dark of the living room lightened only by the candles.

She didn’t ask anything, she just waited for Elyza to continue her story. A story that should have been theirs.

“You have no idea how hard it had been without you. After you died…” Elyza murmured.

Her fingers squeezed Alicia’s hand before letting it go. They started trailing all the way up her arm, over her bicep, and then her chest. She pressed her palm over Alicia’s heart as she released a shaken sigh.

“Everything lost meaning. It took me years before I could wake up without nightmares. I never forgot how you tasted, how you smelled, and it just… It drove me crazy.”

Alicia didn’t answer.

Alicia knew.

During her previous life she had grown old remembering _everything_ about Clarke.

The shade of her eyes, the scent of her skin, the taste of her lips, the sound of her…

She remembered. And she couldn’t forget. She couldn’t stop thinking about what could have been.

“I never stopped drawing you.”

Alicia’s eyes shot up and widened. That, she didn’t expect.

“My mother kept saying it wasn’t healthy but… It helped.”

Alicia didn’t answer again.

This time, she didn’t want to know the details. She didn’t want to know how her soulmate had moved on.

She read it in Elyza’s eyes that she had met someone.

But she knew it wasn’t anyone’s fault. And she was happy, truly, because that someone had brought happiness in Clarke Griffin’s life.

“I never forgot you.”

Alicia closed her eyes and nodded again. She knew that too.

She _felt_ it.

She felt it deep down in her soul. She shook her head, putting her hand over Elyza’s and intertwining their fingers.

“Our people?” she asked.

She might have been in another world, in another time, with another name, but her soul was hers.

It was the same person.

Elyza knew.

Elyza was the same.

“We had to fight for years. People died.”

A pause.

“So many people died… “

Alicia opened her eyes. Elyza’s shimmered with unshed tears.

“I had to learn how to fight. I killed so many people… I had to.”

Alicia didn’t need to hear any more words from her. She knew enough.

Her arms untwisted from the mess of blankets and limbs and wrapped Elyza’s body, holding it close to hers, while the blonde sobbed a lifetime of regrets, pain and blood.

 

Alicia watched her sleeping and cried silently.

She hadn’t had the chance to do it in more than seventy years.

 

Alicia remembered clearly her past life and she remembered how much she had missed the blonde.

She remembered every moment without her, suffering her absence but relieving in the mindfulness that her soulmate was still alive in the world where they had last met.

She had lived fifty years of solitude and loneliness, engaging in relationships that would never be enough, before settling for one that was overall alright, but that never gave her the same feeling that she would felt with her soulmate with only one touch.

She had settled for a man who didn’t love but who had treated her like a princess.

She had lived an empty life with the memories of dozens past full ones.

She had forgotten how it had been being Lexa the Commander and she had gone to college to study storms and tornados.

~~She had never really forgotten how it was to be Heda Leksa Kom Trikru.~~

She had waited for Clarke and she had waited in vain.

She had survived a lifetime without living it.

She had died hoping

~~Knowing~~

That Clarke would have been with her in her next life.

 

She had been born Alicia Clark.

She hadn’t remembered.

 

Elyza shifted in her sleep and Alicia smiled, placing a soft kiss on her forehead before falling asleep with her arms still wrapped around the blonde’s body.

 

Alicia woke up at the sensation of Elyza’s lips skidding over her body, all the way down from her neck to her stomach and beyond.

Her body reacted at her lover’s attention and arched against Elyza’s soft touches.

Her mind went numb as their body connected once again in whispers, moans, kisses and “I missed you”s.

 

“Alicia Clark, mhm?”

Alicia lazily opened her eyes.

“What?”

Elyza smirked and kissed her slowly.

They hadn’t moved when the sun had irradiated the room, they hadn’t moved for hours and they were fine with it.

“In this life, your last name is Clark.”

Alicia smiled, stretching her limbs and feeling the amazing soreness that sex had brought to her body.

Elyza stared at her with hunger and love and pure joy in her eyes. She was never tired of watching her, touching her, tasting her. She would never be.

“Yours’s Lex.” Alicia murmured.

Elyza nodded, half annoyed half amused.

“Fate has a fucking horrible sense of humor.”

Alicia almost snorted. She curled back up in her previous position, against Elyza’s body.

“You tell me. Remember three lives ago?”

Elyza scrunched her nose and frowned, trying to recollect her memories.

“The one where you were possessed by some crazy shit ass demon?”

Alicia smiled.

“You fell from the sky that time too.” She murmured with affection. “You came for me.”

Elyza grimaced, as the sole thought of that life stabbed a knife into her heart.

“I came to kill you.”

“You did it.”

Elyza didn’t meet her eyes.

“I killed myself afterward.”

~~She did stab a knife into her heart.~~

Alicia shifted closer to her, flung her leg around Elyza’s hips and straddled her.

She kissed her senselessly and reminded her they were living the present.

 

“Leesh?”

Alicia yawned in her neck and murmured something that sounded an awful lot like a “ _Sha?_ ”.

Elyza chuckled and tilted her head, poking Alicia’s chin with two fingers.

When green met blue, Elyza smiled.

“I love you.” She whispered. “So. Fucking. Much.”

Alicia laughed and snuggled closer to her.

“I think I kinda figured that one out.” She breathed, bumping her nose against the blonde’s before leaning in for another kiss.

“I love you too.” She laughed then, softly.

And Elyza cried again because it had been decades since the last time she had heard those words.

It had been decades since the last time she had heard her laughing.

 

“Get your lazy ass up.”

Alicia snorted and pulled the blanket on top of her head.

Elyza released a disbelieved groan, crossing her arms over her chest.

“You’re such a brat.”

She heard Alicia holding her breath under the blanket and smirked.

“I am not.” Came the muffled protest.

Elyza pulled her leather pants from underneath the couch and wore them, looking around the living room for her sport bra.

“You are, Alicia Clark. Now get the fuck up. You know we can’t stay here.” She demanded, kneeling and crawling under the table to recover her clothes. How Alicia had managed to throw them there was a mystery.

When she stood up again she felt two hands pressing on her hips as they forced her to turn.

Alicia, still completely naked, trapped her lips in a heated kiss while her fingers slid to the front of her pants.

“We could die tomorrow.” Alicia pointed out, driving her hand inside her underwear.

Elyza didn’t even try to protest.

Her body shook and arched against Alicia’s fingers when she pinned her against the table and claimed her.

 

“Okay, now we _really_ have to go.”

Alicia nodded, slipping in her underwear and shorts.

“We have to find my family.” She murmured without thinking.

Elyza froze and frowned with a hand in her backpack.

“Uh. Right. You have a family.”

Alicia slowly raised her head, with a confused expression on her face.

“Yeah. I have a family.”

Their eyes met and Elyza smiled with understanding. Their minds had memories of countless lifetimes, their souls had lived many experiences and had bond with many other people.

When they had kissed, everything had come back together.

But of course, for someone who was used and forced to live that way, it was also hard to make up their minds to the fact that they’ll always have families and friends that would never be able to reincarnate like them.

Alicia finished dressing without another word, lost in her thoughts, and Elyza let her, knowing how hard it was for her to put every piece back together.

They were always going to be Lexa and Clarke and Laura and Amy and many many others.

They would always remember.

But they were Alicia and Elyza now.

And they needed to survive as such.

 

When Elyza disappeared in the bathroom to finish getting ready, Alicia sighed and leaned on the table, rubbing her palms against her eyes to try to soothe the drumming headache that had started to tingle since the moment she had remembered her family in this life.

She stifled a yawn and smiled knowing why she was so tired.

The reason was the sassy blonde that had just returned from the bathroom literally taking her breath away.

“What?”

Elyza arched an eyebrow when she saw Alicia’s expression.

The brunette opened and closed her mouth a couple times before clearing her voice and stepping forward to take Elyza’s face in her hands.

“The war paint.”

Elyza blinked, realization washing over her face.

“Oh.”

She touched her cheeks and looked at the black dust on her fingers.

“I-I did it without realizing it.” She muttered, brows furrowed. “I guess I took it as a habit...”

Alicia swallowed and briefly shook her head.

“It’s not...” She murmured. “It’s just… You used my design.”

Elyza’s eyes softened and the girl nodded. She leaned in to press her forehead against Alicia’s.

“I started using it after you died.” She confessed. “It made me feel…”

She stopped, trying to find the right word.

“Safe?” Alicia suggested.

Elyza nodded, then shook her head, and nodded again.

“Yeah, that too but…”

She shrugged, averting her eyes.

“It was yours. It was you. It was just a way to keeping you with me.”

Alicia pressed her lips together and closed her eyes as well, wrapping her arms around Elyza’s neck. They stayed like that for several minutes, just wrapped in a comforting hug.

“I’m here.” Alicia murmured eventually. “I’m here.”

 

They started walking again toward the top of the hill, without encountering any walkers for hours. They didn’t stop to rest, they kept going to make up for the time they had spent in the house that morning.

Once they managed to reach the top, Alicia sat herself in the very middle of the road and huffed her exhaustion, making Elyza snigger.

“You’re out of shape, Commander.”

Alicia glared.

“ _Shof op_.” She muttered, making Elyza laugh even more while the blonde turned to analyze the place around them.

“I see the beach from here.” She announced after a couple minutes of quiet observation. “But I don’t see no boat.”

“Shit.”

Elyza let herself fall to the ground next to the brunette, rifle in her hands.

“Are you sure they didn’t leave you for dead?”

Alicia’s first response would have been a straight “No.” but when she met Elyza’s concerned eyes she forced herself to sigh and shrug. She didn’t know.

She knew her mother and her brother –and probably Travis- wouldn’t have let the rest move without her, but they were in the middle of the end of the world, after all. She couldn’t know what her family could have decided.

She leaned and put her head on Elyza’s shoulder, thinking.

She knew it was going to be her call. She knew Elyza wouldn’t leave her and she knew she was just waiting for her to decide what to do.

“Let’s find a place to stay for the night.” She said eventually, sighing at the sensation of Elyza’s fingers in her hair. “They always changed location during the night. Maybe we’ll see them in the morning. We should head for the water anyway.”

Elyza nodded.

“And what if we see them? How are we going to be sure they won’t move by the time we get there?” she asked.

Alicia shrugged again and Elyza nodded again. “We’ll figure something out.”

They stayed silent for some time, during which Elyza managed to slip an arm around Alicia’s shoulder.

“I kinda miss my brother.”

That made Elyza smile. She pressed a kiss on top of her soulmate’s head.

“Tell me about him.”

Alicia did.

She told Elyza about her batshit crazy brother, her drug addict brother, her careful, loving, protective brother who would take the world apart for her.

She told Elyza about growing up with him, all the fights and the drama and how she never wanted to forgive him for every time he had disappeared but how she always ended up hugging him and laughing with him about their messed up family.

She told Elyza how much she missed him, how much she missed her mom.

And Elyza listened and recognized Lexa in her, but started to also get to know a little bit more about Alicia.

Alicia, who was hers to keep, but who was an entirely new person that she was growing to love anew.

 

They kissed slowly and gently while watching the sunset, before collecting their belongings and heading for the first house they found.

They checked every rooms and they showered

~~totally not~~

together.

They had dinner.

~~Totally not bickering like teenagers just to have an excuse to shut each other up with a kiss.~~

They leaned on the couch and made love again, with no words between them this time.

They eventually fell asleep.

~~Totally not with a couple “I love you”s as goodnights.~~

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so gonna write more chapters after this. I already know what to do.  
> Come talk to me, if you want, on tumblr! I'll be happy to rant about Clexa/Lexark/Clip with you guys.  
>  ( lexa-lives-in-us.tumblr.com )


End file.
